True true man, I just been lampin' man
So what you been up to lately, man?
Just been loungin' man, you know what I'm sayin'?
True, true man, yo, man, who's your boy over there, man?
Oh that's my man from out of town
Oh word man? Yo what's up, man? My name is P man
How you doin' man? My name is Frankie Anto, man
But my friends, they call me Frank B
Oh word man? Nice to meet you, man
So yo man E, what you gettin' into tonight, man?
Yo P, man, I'm 'bout to flex downtown to this club
Word, man? Yo man, that sounds cool, man
I think I'm with that, man, yo you wan' do that?
Let's do this, man (aight bet, man)
Yo, yo, hold up wait a minute guys, man
You guys mind if I go witchu to this club, man?
Ah-ha, yo man, E I don't know about that, man
Last time we took somebody with us, man
We had to carry him home, man, he got out of control
The whole nine yards, you know what I'm sayin', man?
Nah man, that's not me man, I can handle my liquor, man
I just go to have a good time and dance, man
Drinkin' is no problem to me, stuff tastes like fruit punch
Positive, man, positively positive
Aight, man, let's take him then
And we were dressed to impress
We took a seat at the bar
Frank ordered drinks, no liquor
I mean her body was through
But after four drinks or more
She looked like Paula Abdul
You know what baby? You startin' to look good
You startin' to look real good
You startin 'to remind me of that superstar, Paula Abdul
Nah guys, y'know? I can drive myself home, man
That ain't gonna be no problem
I drive better when I feel nice (are you sure, man?)
That stuff in there, that stuff in there taste like fruit punch
I could drink that all night
There was a cop in the bushes
And got pulled over by a cop
You had too much to drink
You had too much to drink
You had too much to drink
You had too much to drink
Uh excuse me, can I see your license and registration please?
I don't have my license and registration right now
But if you give me a chance, I can go home and get it
Oh what are you a wiseguy son?
No I don't mean to be a wiseguy officer
The honest truth, what really happened is
I just came from a plane from Dominican Republic
By the time I got to Motor Vehicle, Motor Vehicle was closed
My name is Frankie Nato, but my friends, they call me Frank B
How bout you officer, whatchu call yourself?
Oh this guy's a real wiseguy
Who's the young lady in the passenger seat?
You don't know who that is? That's a superstar
Paula Abdul, say hi Paula
Oh yeah that's Paula Abdul?
Have you been drinkin' son?
Oh no I don't drink man, the only thing I drink is fruit punch
Okay son you wanna turn your car off
And leave the keys in the ignition and come with me please?
I want you to come sit in the backseat
And blow in this tube for me please
Wait a minute, wait a minute, I ain't no faggot
I never blow anything in my life, and don't plan to
How 'bout you officer, you blowin' anything?
Just blow into the tube son
You might as well get bored
'Cause you goin downtown sonny, you're drunk
So whatchu tryin to tell me officer?
You tryin' to tell me that, that machine's tell me I'm drunk, man?
Somethin' wrong with that machine
That machine need a good fixin', man
That's what I think officer
No you know what I think son?
I think you need a good lawyer
Let me tell you officer, I have a lawyer
My lawyer is so good, so so good
And by the time he's finished witchu
You gonna be workin' in Alaska
So dress warm, as a matter of fact
I suggest you go out and buy yourself a sheepdog
'Cause it gets bitterly cold out there
You had too much to drink
You had too much to drink
You had too much to drink
You had too much to drink
Have you ever been coolin'
Wit your friends gettin' wasted
When you know you should stop
And you can't feel your face
And your chest starts to burn
So you lay on your stomach
And you tuck in your chin
Just let me get through this last one
If you let me make it through the night, God
I promise I'll never have another drink again
I'll never drink again, as long as I live
You had too much to drink
You had too much to drink
You had too much to drink
You had too much to drink
Ayo, this is EPMD tellin' you not to drink and drive
'Cause ain't nuttin cool about chillin' in a coffin six feet under
You know what I'm sayin'?
And learn from others mistakes holmes
And don't let peer pressure get to you
'Cause it costs you, or your life
Or somebody else's life in the long run
And he who don't believe you can get the bozack