*Laughter*

I know a fat ole policeman, he's always on our street

A fat old, jolly red-faced man, he really is a treat

He's too fine for a policeman, he's never known to frown

And everybody says he is the happiest man in town

*Laughter*

He laughs upon his duty, he laughs upon his beat

He laughs at everybody when he's walking in the street

He never can stop laughing, he says he'd never tried

But once he did arrest a man and laughed until he died

*Laughter*

Oh, His jolly face had wrinkled, and then he shut his eyes

He opened his great mouth, it was a wonderous size

He said “I must arrest you,” I didn't know what for

And then he starting laughing, until he cracked his jaw

*Laughter*

So if you chance to meet him while walking ‘round the town

Just shake him by his ole fat hand and give him *half* a *crown*

His eyes beam and sparkle, he'll gurgle with delight

And then you'll start him laughing, with all his blessed might