My best friend had a little situation
At the end of our senior year
She and Mitchell got married that summer
Carolann getting bigger ev'ry minute
Thinking, "What am I doing here?"
While Mitchell's out ev'ry night
Being a heavy-metal drummer
They got a little cute house
With a crucifix on the door
Mitchell got a job at a record store in the mall
Just the typical facts of a typical life
In a town on the Eastern Shore
I thought about what I wanted
It wasn't like that at all
Made Carolann a cute baby sweater
Thinking, "I can do better than that"
In a year or so I moved to the city
Thinking, "What have I got to lose?"
And got twenty pounds thinner
Met a guy in a class I was taking
Who you might say looked like Tom Cruise
He wouldn't leave me alone
'Less I went with him to dinner
And I guess he was good in bed
I gave up my life for the better part of a year
So I'm starting to feel like this maybe might work
And the second it entered my head
He needed to take some time off
He blew me off with a heartfelt letter
I thought, "I can do better than that"
You don't have to get a haircut
You don't have to change your shoes
You don't have to like Duran Duran
You don't have to put the seat down
You don't have to watch the news
You don't have to learn to tango
You don't have to eat prosciutto
You don't have to change a thing
Finally I'll have something worthwhile
Nothing but fresh, undiluted and pure
I don't need any lifetime commitments
I don't need to get hitched tonight
I don't want you to throw up all your walls and defenses
I don't mean to put on any pressure
But I know when a thing is right
And I spend every day re-configuring my senses
Take a look at how far I've gone
And it feels like my life led right to your side
And will keep me there from now on
Think about what you wanted
Think about what could be
Think about how I love you
Say you'll move in with me
Think of what's great about me and you
Think of the bullshit we've both been through
We can do better than that
We can do better than that