Couldn't imagine it would hurt like this
The first to admit that it overwhelmed me
My shades drawn, closed off
Hardly spoke to family or otherwise
Butterfly nerves in my stomach
Mostly a maze that ends abruptly
Seeing that life plans a tin of this
You were scheduled to relocate west
Would have been fresh, on tour stopping through
To get caught caught up with you
But all that's left is a shoe box and pictures
Just like 2Pac and Biggie
Wonderin' who shot ya figure
With shorties around the way
Got your mums reeling from solemn pain
But what was I to tell her?
But I offered her my umbrella
You hopin' that the fact this shit was real
It's only a matter of time in life, planets collide
That's the street speaking, nothin's shaking
Every day of the week you act different
Yo — knew I was supposed to get back at you
But after you was different
Second look, it had me mad again
I had a friend when I was younger
Used to ask me when we spent time
Lyin', I told him: every other holiday
Hard to contemplate the pain at age ten
Knowin' I couldn't depend on you for a damn thing
Advancin' from a boy in the ring
You not around to see me develop
No consolin' my moments of crisis
Knowing the price is paid by both
Who s'posed to be thicker than water
You that father playing deadbeat
Left me to return the phone call
Hope it's not a case of the vapours
You askin' for favours and shit
I don't know how to trust you
I'd love to, but it's been a while since you come through
You hopin' that the fact this shit was real
It's only a matter of time in life, planets collide
That's the street speaking, nothin's shaking
Every day of the week you act different
I survive on intimacy and tomorrow — that's all I've got goin' and the music was like smack and you knew about that and still refused my dance was not enough
Well look, junkies layin' on the floor and dyin'
That's some man coppin' some kicks to the dead
And the music was like smack…
To feel him up for anything else that's been left
This is, uh, kind of a special piece of music
It's autobiographical in nature
There are not too many secrets there