Winter is coming

It's on its way

I don't have plumbing

But I'd like to say

Winter won't you get here fast

I don't know how much longer I'll last

Not being able to wear

My itchy thermal underwear

I miss you

Mr. Winter

You're stuck in my mind

Like a big ole splinter

I miss having to wear 35 layers under my coat

Not to mention always having a runny nose and a soar throat

I love feeling my fingers freeze down to the bone

Anytime I'm outside and have to answer the phone

I long for that wonderful, permanent frostbite

And how you ruin my day when it's too fucking cold to sleep through the night

Throwing a devastating snow storm is always a plus

Especially, when you're stuck waiting in line for the bus

Mr. Winter

I love you

You are worse

Than a fart in an igloo

I can't wait to listen to those laughing talks

As I slip and break my leg on those icy side walks

I also love hoping that I won't die

Anytime I have to go for a drive

Nothing is worse than those black-ice filled streets

Than perhaps a Mercedes without heated seats

And I'll be happy to see little red-nosed rudolf

As I curse the heavens 'cause it's too cold to play golf

Mr. Winter

You make me feel so blue

Yes, Mr. Winter

I just wanna say: fuck you